I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
