You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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