That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
