Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
