based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Vodka?
Forever.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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