I want to stick my p in your. b.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
