the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
