You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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