I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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