You're a womanizer and a bitch.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
