I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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