Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
