i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
