I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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