How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Randomize
