uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
