I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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