waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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