Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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