I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
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