let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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