Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
