I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
