Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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