Farmville is her only friend.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
