i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
