At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
you traded sex for a burrito?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
