Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
