Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm like, not good at living.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
