best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
