Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Randomize
