You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
