Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
