Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
