haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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