Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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