Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
