why didn't you poke me back
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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