just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
