you thought your balls were fighting each other...
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
