The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
We named our party play list daddy issues
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
