did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
