I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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