so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
