I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Come share oat with me in your robe
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
