dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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