Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
