My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
