This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
