I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
