That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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